Working with Families: Meeting Children's Needs So They Can Thrive with Nellie Harden

Show notes

In this episode, Tessa and Nellie (https://www.nellieharden.com/)) talk about: • Circles show up in all sorts of places like music groups and choirs

• Growth happens in relationship, not isolation, which makes circles perfect for change

• Modern life with devices and social media makes it hard for families to do active listening with each other

• Get clarity about your child’s learning language so your message gets through e.g. pictures, words, movement

• Playing loud music really helped to prepare the 12-18 year olds for listening later – think of your attendees’ needs

• A clarity board enables you to write or draw what you hear the other person is saying and check you’ve got it right (up to 5 things you hear)

• A facilitator can provide third-party validation where a change in relationship / communication is the goal

• Aim is to create a space to develop truth and trust with the circle so that the amygdala doesn’t shut down processing too much flight and fight

• Rules for Nellie’s session is ROCKS: Respect, Obedience, Compassion, Kindness, Self-discipline

• Can take a break if things get heated to re-establish calm or use ‘square breathing’ (also known as even breathing) with tracing the square on the leg

• Make the participants aware of defence mechanisms such as sarcasm, mocking, dismissing, interrupting, ignoring and distraction – these are destructive forms of communication and you need to take a break if it happens

• In terms of time keeping, you can put a leeway / buffer for latecomers but also at the end in case you are in something deep and don’t want to interrupt the process

• A firm boundary is having phones away

• Acknowledging the role of hormones in relationships is important in this age group.

You can order our book Circle Holding: A Practical Guide to Facilitating Talking Circles on Amazon (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Circle-Holding-Practical-Facilitating-Talking/dp/1805013157/)

To learn more about facilitating circles you can join one of our trainings: https://www.circleholding.org

Tessa's trainings can also be found at [https://www.tessavenutisanderson.co.uk/circles/circle-training] IG @tessa.venuti.sanderson

We love to hear from circle facilitators and circle goers so please email us at info@circleholding.org

Music credit: Fabio Venuti